5 Signs of Developmental Trauma in Adults
As a therapist, I've seen how childhood trauma shapes adult lives. Many people don't realize that their current struggles connect to early experiences. Let's explore five common signs that might indicate developmental trauma from childhood.
1. Difficulty Trusting Others
When safety was not a given in childhood, trust issues often follow into adulthood. This might look like:
Always waiting for others to let you down
Feeling like you must handle everything alone
Testing relationships with "push and pull" behaviors
Being surprised when people actually keep their word
Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships. When trauma disrupts this foundation early on, rebuilding it takes conscious effort and time.
2. Intense Shame and Self-Criticism
Many adults with developmental trauma carry a heavy burden of shame. This isn't just feeling bad about making mistakes - it's a deep belief that something is wrong with who you are.
This often shows up as:
Harsh inner critic that nothing can silence
Feeling fundamentally flawed or unworthy
Difficulty accepting praise or compliments
Perfectionism to prove your worth
Remember: this shame was installed, not earned. It reflects how you were treated, not who you truly are.
“Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That’s why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people.”
-Ryan North
3. Emotional Regulation Challenges
When childhood environments were chaotic or unsafe, the developing brain adapts in ways that make emotional regulation harder. As adults, this might look like:
Feeling emotions very intensely
Shutting down completely during stress
Quick shifts between emotional states
Overreacting to minor triggers
Difficulty naming what you're feeling
These responses made sense when you needed to survive unpredictable situations. Now, they may be holding you back.
4. Physical Responses to Stress
The body keeps the score. Developmental trauma often shows up physically in ways such as:
Chronic tension or unexplained pain
Startling easily at sudden noises
Feeling "on edge" most of the time
Sleep problems despite being tired
Digestive issues that worsen with stress
Your body learned to stay alert for danger. It's trying to protect you, even when the danger is long past.
5. Difficulty Setting Healthy Boundaries
Children whose boundaries were ignored often struggle with limits as adults. This might appear as:
People-pleasing to keep the peace
Saying "yes" when you want to say "no"
OR rigid walls that keep everyone at a distance
Discomfort with both closeness and distance
Trouble recognizing when boundaries are crossed
Healthy boundaries are neither walls nor doorways – they're more like fences with gates you control.
Breaking Free from Trauma's Grip
If these signs feel familiar, please know this: recognizing them is the first step toward healing. Developmental trauma is not your fault, but addressing its effects is now your responsibility.
You adapted to survive difficult circumstances. Those adaptations were brilliant solutions then, but may be limiting you now.
The good news? The brain remains flexible throughout life. With proper support, you can build new patterns and release the grip of old trauma.
Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you:
Identify your specific trauma responses
Develop self-compassion for your struggles
Learn skills to regulate your nervous system
Build healthy relationships with clear boundaries
Reduce shame and strengthen self-worth
There is nothing broken about you. Your responses made perfect sense given what you experienced. Healing is about creating safety now and teaching your mind and body that the danger has passed, and you’re ready, reaching out for Trauma Therapy.
The journey isn't always easy, but it is absolutely possible. I've witnessed countless clients transform their relationship with trauma and reclaim their lives. You deserve that same opportunity to thrive, not just survive.
