Therapy for Adults with Emotionally Unavailable Parents
Overcome the Impact of Emotional Neglect
You never received the attention and nurturing you needed as a child to build a secure sense of self worth.
Do you constantly worry about being judged or embarrassed by others? Is it hard to find enjoyment, or even feel comfortable, in social situations? Do you have an underlying feeling that you're just not "good enough," no matter what you do? These experiences probably feel ingrained in who you are as a person.
When we are kids, we need attention, nurturing, and support to build our confidence and self-esteem. But those things were missing for you due to an emotionally unavailable parent - for whatever reason, your parents weren't able to give you the emotional guidance and unconditional love you needed to develop self-worth. As an adult, the impacts of this childhood emotional neglect have started showing up in all areas of your life.
You’re unable to cope with difficult emotions like sadness, loneliness, or anything uncomfortable for that matter. Numbing feelings through substance abuse, binge eating, reckless sex, or other unhealthy habits becomes the default.
When emotions do come up, they feel overwhelming and "too much" to handle. This leads to lashing out, blowing up, or snapping at loved ones unfairly.
You avoid tough conversations and conflicts at all costs because you're scared of upsetting others. But bottling up your real thoughts and needs creates resentment over time.
You always put other people's wants first, while neglecting your own needs, if you even consider them at all.
These patterns make total sense given your experiences in childhood, but they hold you back from living your best life. The lack of emotional support as a kid warped your perception, making it hard to identify your feelings before they’re overwhelming, as well as develop self-love, confidence, and healthy coping skills.
It’s time to embrace your most authentic self
Ready to the first step toward creating the life & relationships you truly want? Schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me—I’ll answer your questions and we can decide if we’re the right fit.
Therapy for Childhood Emotional Neglect can help.
It may feel impossible now, but you can finally feel confident and secure in yourself. You can set boundaries and be assertive WHILE maintaining connection to the people who matter most to you. You can be authentically you. And I can help you get there.
We'll start by exploring the core negative beliefs about yourself that took shape from emotionally unavailable parents. Maybe you believed your feelings didn't matter, or that you were unworthy of love. Those beliefs felt real as a kid, but you can shed that unhealthy conditioning as an adult.
Together, we'll identify the flawed thought patterns and self-perceptions. Using self-compassion, you'll learn to re-parent those wounded parts of yourself by nurturing the needs that went unmet. You'll develop solid emotional coping skills to navigate even the most overwhelming feelings without lashing out or numbing behaviors.
Most importantly, you'll apply these self-loving tools to all parts of life - career, home, relationships. Freed from insecurities about how others see you, you can finally show up as your authentic, confident self everywhere. You can set boundaries, voice your needs, and be your true self without fearing rejection.
My approach is based on the core truth that your negative self-beliefs don't reflect your true worth. They're echoes of childhood experiences beyond your control. With time and a plan fit to your unique experiences, we can uplift the parts of you that have been pushed down for too long.
For some, this process includes many layers. If the emotional neglect overlapped with physical, sexual, or other abuse as a child, this can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which requires additional treatment such as Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) or Brainspotting. Please feel free to explore how these techniques may promote deeper healing.
FAQs
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Childhood emotional neglect occurs when parents do not provide the emotional nurturing and connection that a child needs to develop a secure sense of self. This includes the need for affirmation, acts of unconditional love, and sincere and enjoyable attention.
There can be many reasons a parent is unable to provide this necessary nurturing and they are many times generational.
The main outcome is the core belief that you’re “not good enough.” and this gets in the way of many areas of life, causing poor self-esteem and confidence.
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We explore your upbringing and your past, so that we can better understand the root of the cause and what adaptations you have developed in order to get your needs met.
We then move into building your feelings vocabulary and body sensations, as well as identifying behaviors that have developed to feel CONNECTED and begin understanding them and changing them. I will help guide you in learning lifelong tools to correct thinking that causes insecurities and behaviors that don’t contribute to lasting connection.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Brainspotting can be used throughout this process of developing your most authentic self and letting go of your childhood conditioning.
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