The Sleep-Anxiety Connection: How Poor Sleep Fuels Anxiety (And How to Fix It)

As a therapist working with anxious clients, I've noticed a pattern that comes up again and again in my practice: poor sleep and anxiety feed each other in an endless loop. Now, I want to break down this connection and share some practical insights about how sleep affects our anxiety levels – and what we can do about it.

Let's start with something fascinating I've learned through my 8+ years as a therapist: when we don't get enough quality sleep, our brain actually gets overloaded with twice as much information the next day. Think of your brain like a filing cabinet. During good sleep, especially during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, your brain sorts through the day's experiences, filing away important memories and tossing out the unnecessary stuff, like the color shirt that a random kid was wearing at the grocery store. But when you don't sleep well, those files pile up on your mental desk, creating more chaos and overwhelm.

The other thing your brain does during REM sleep is emotional processing. REM sleep can be like an overnight therapy session, where the brain processes and integrates emotional experiences from the day. The brain effectively "replays" emotional experiences, helping to dull the painful edge of difficult memories while strengthening important emotional learnings. This is why disrupted REM sleep can leave us feeling emotionally raw and more reactive to stress – we haven't had the chance to properly process and integrate our emotional experiences. It's similar to having a backlog of unprocessed emotional mail piling up, making it harder to deal with new emotional challenges that arise.

Anxiety —> poor sleep —> anxiety —>

STOP THE CYCLE!

In my practice, I often see clients who come in extra anxious, and once we talk more, it emerges that their sleep has been awful. This is exactly how the cycle works. Your brain, overwhelmed with unprocessed information from poor sleep, becomes more reactive to stress. This heightened state then makes it harder to sleep the next night, and round and round we go.

Here's what many people don't realize: alcohol, while it might seem like a good solution for sleep problems, actually makes things worse. I've had countless clients tell me they use alcohol to "knock themselves out" at night. While alcohol might help you fall asleep initially, it seriously disrupts your REM sleep – that crucial filing time your brain needs. The result? You wake up with yesterday's mental files still scattered everywhere, plus today's new ones starting to pile up. No wonder anxiety feels overwhelming!

Through my work, I've seen how this backed-up processing can show up in the body. Clients often report physical symptoms like tension headaches, tight shoulders, or a churning stomach. These physical sensations then become additional anxiety triggers, creating yet another layer to the cycle.

How to begin breaking the cycle

First, we need to understand that good sleep isn't just about the number of hours – it's about the quality of those hours. Your brain needs proper REM sleep to process emotional experiences and regulate anxiety. When you shortchange this process, you're essentially asking your brain to function with one hand tied behind its back.

In my therapy sessions, we work on what I call "sleep hygiene with self-compassion." This means creating good sleep habits while understanding that perfection isn't the goal. Some key practices include:

• Setting a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends. Your brain loves routine, and maintaining regular sleep-wake times helps strengthen your natural sleep cycle (my brain turns to a pumpkin at 9:30pm on the dot).

• Creating a wind-down ritual that signals to your body it's time to shift into sleep mode. This might include gentle stretching, deep breathing, reading, or writing down worried thoughts to "park" them for tomorrow.

• Reduce or eliminate social media and phone time at least an hour before bed. Social media and phones close to your face provide a ton of stimulation to parts of your brain you want to calm down before you sleep.

• Avoiding sleep disruptors like eating too much right before bed, or drinking alcohol, especially within three hours of bedtime. Remember, the goal isn't just to fall asleep – it's to get quality sleep that actually helps your brain process and regulate emotions.

For my clients dealing with anxiety-related insomnia, I often introduce them to simple somatic exercises they can do in bed. These help shift the nervous system from "fight or flight" into "rest and digest" mode. One effective technique is progressive muscle relaxation, starting from your toes you slowly tighten and release every muscle group all the way up to the top of your head, and back down until you fall asleep. This process not only relaxes your body, but also provides your brain something neutral to focus on instead of all the things you need to get done tomorrow.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Slowly tighten and release every muscle group beginning in your toes, all the way up to the top of your head, and back down until you fall asleep.

What I find most powerful about addressing the sleep-anxiety connection is how quickly positive changes can snowball. When you start getting better quality sleep, your brain can process emotions more effectively, leading to less anxiety the next day. This makes it easier to sleep the following night, creating an upward spiral instead of a downward one.

If you're caught in this cycle, know that change is possible. Start with small steps to protect your sleep quality, and be patient with yourself as you build new habits. Your brain wants to help you feel better – sometimes it just needs the right conditions (and tools) to do its job effectively.

Remember: good sleep isn't a luxury – it's the first, and biologically foundational, tool for managing anxiety and supporting your overall mental health. By prioritizing quality sleep, you're giving your brain the resources it needs to process emotions effectively and maintain better emotional balance throughout your day.

If you want to know more about how to reduce anxiety overall, check out Anxiety Therapy or contact me with any questions!