Growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent can feel like navigating a maze without a map. While many quickly label their parents as narcissists, the reality is more nuanced. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is statistically more prevalent and often misunderstood. These parents aren't intentionally cruel; they're trapped in a rigid world of perfectionism and control, where emotional connection takes a backseat to order and rules. Understanding the subtle differences between OCPD and narcissism can be the first step in healing, offering compassion not just for yourself, but for the complex human behind the behavior.

Attachment trauma stems from disrupted bonds with caregivers, often due to emotional unavailability or inconsistent parenting. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and difficulty trusting others. Brainspotting, a therapy using fixed eye positions, can help heal these deep-rooted wounds by accessing and processing pre-verbal experiences stored in the brain and body.

This blog recaps my 5 most insightful podcast interviews, covering how to confront inherited shame, differentiate authentic emotions from dysfunctional narratives, practice self-compassion, challenge unhelpful thought patterns, raise self-awareness, and intentionally foster emotional attunement to disrupt generational trauma.

Emotionally unavailable parents create deep emotional wounds in children by failing to nurture and meet their needs consistently. This shapes dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors around relationships, self-worth, and emotional expression. Through self-compassion and therapeutic work, you can reparent yourself to heal deficits left by unavailable caregivers.

Signs of an attachment wound include craving closeness but pushing people away, rigid relationship expectations, struggling to trust, intense emotions, insecure self-image, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. These stem from inconsistent bonding with caregivers in childhood, disrupting one's ability to form secure attachments as an adult.